Most individuals just don’t realise that a good skill-based pre-marriage course can reduce the risk of divorce by up to thirty percent and lead to a significantly happier marriage. It can also reduce the stress of the pre-wedding period and can help individuals to discover new things about marriage. It prepares individuals to start dealing with issues at the source even before they arise, so as to have a good foundation to build on. Many marriages break down because people don’t know what it takes to make a marriage work.
Couples now face more demands and have fewer supports than ever before. The typical complex marriage-managing two careers while rearing children-really requires that couples have very strong, well-established abilities to communicate, resolve issues, maintain mutuality and set goals. Without this foundation, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by stress and time pressures. Problems can intrude much more easily than most couple realise.
Marriage preparation classes, workshops and courses are an alternative and a supplementary approach to educating engaged couples and newlyweds in the skills, habits, attitudes, and enrichment techniques that leads to happy, enduring marriages.
Islam established its own theory for the process of spouse selection. The issue of marriage in Islam is not an issue of mere sexual satisfaction. Islam considers marriage an institution to establish a family. Therefore, Islam urges marriage seekers to select long lasting relationships, establish beloved, and caring families, which should serve the society. All these conditions would not be fulfilled unless there is a pious and righteous spouse, who is mindful of the commandements of their Supreme Designer and careful about all duties entrusted to them.
There are many advantages of getting married :
When a child is born, the parents and family should give thanks to Allah Most High for the gift He has bestowed on them, and that everything went better than it could have. They should remember that this baby is a trust from Allah, not something that they own.
Allah will help the parents to take care of the child. The local authority is happy to help you welcoming the child too, the reason being is that having a child allows indeed the continuity of the human society. Hence a government will make sense.
Therefore, from that day begins the parents duty to ensure the best for the child. They will be questioned regarding whether they fulfilled the child’s needs, not only physically and socially, but spiritually as well.
They should also be content with Allah Most High’s decree regarding the gender and condition of the child, and show their love equally in all cases. They should also announce the birth with the same happiness and thanks to others, and others should congratulate them, also regardless of the gender or other features of the child.
It is also a good idea to bring a small gift to the medical staff who assisted the delivery either at home or in the hospital as you may remember our teacher saying who doesn’t thank peolpe, neither does thank Allah.
A mentality of gratitude and contentment, combined with a sense of sacred responsibility, should be the backdrop that provides context and meaning for the virtuous acts which follow
Giving the Adhan After Birth
In the Maliki, Shafi’i and Hanbali schools, the adhan is recommended and a sunnah, and it should be given in the rightern ear of the child and the iqama should be given in the other one. [al-Majmu’, al-Nawawi; Mawahib al-Jaleel, al-Hattab; Kashaaf al-Qinaa’, al-Bahuti]
This is based on hadiths found in the collection of al-Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud, Ahmad, al-Bayhaqi and others. The wisdom behind it is that the first words the child hears is the magnification of Allah Most High, in hopes that the child would live their life responding to the call to worship the Lord on the path of Islam. [Tahfa al-Mawdud, Ibn al-Qayyim]
In the Hanafi school, it is virtuous to give the adhan in front of the baby when it is born [though not obligatory nor a sunnah]. One should turn one’s face to the rightern side when saying “Hayya ‘ala al-salah” and to the left at “Hayya ‘ala al-falah” like in a normal adhan. [Radd al-Muhtar, Ibn ‘Abideen]
It is narrated about the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that when a child was born and brought to him soon afterward, he would moisten a small piece of a date with his mouth and then place it on the palate of the newborn. [Bukhari, Muslim and others]
This act is called the “taHneek”. It is considered a recommended and sunnah act, though not obligatory or harmful if left.
This can be done with a date, but if dates are not available, then any similar sweet natural thing will suffice.
This can be performed by the parent, or upright person in the community, preferably from the people of knowledge and piety. The wisdom is that by sharing the piece of date with a pious Muslim, it is a source of blessing and a hope that the child will also be pious and upright. [‘Umdat al-Qari, al-‘Aini]
Naming the Child
The naming of the child can be done right away, or one can wait till the seventh day, as some narrations do mention this, however, any time is permissible. It is the child’s right that they are given a name that is good in meaning and reflective of the child’s Muslim faith. [‘Umdat al-Qari, al-Aini]
You are advised to choose names that show servitude to Allah (Abdullah, Abd al-Rahman, Sajida, Abida, etc), then the names that express gratitude and their variations ( Hameeda, Ahmed, Mohammed, Hameed etc),then the names of the prophets (Nouh, Idris, Isaac, Yacob..etc)., and finally names of rightous persons according to Islam ( Aysha, Khadija,Maryam, fatematu’zahraa….etc).
It is also fine to choose a decent and meaningful name free of perversion, negativity or arrogance.
With regard to some muslims avoiding islamic names who fear that their children will be limited / discriminated against in their abilities in life (specifically Job opportunities) due to stereotyping / racism, although they have a justification for that,
let ‘s remind that Islam is the second largest religion with results from the United Kingdom Census 2011 giving the UK Muslim population in as ~2,706,066, ~4.5% of the total population. Thus,it is not a strong argument worth the loss of identity, and being deprived of the opportunity to show one’s Islam openly and call people to it. This is what a muslim should be keen to do and hope that children will be callers to their religion of peace, adhering to it and feeling proud of their values. We find that today’s society has achieved a noticeable progress in diversity and mutual respect, particularly the British society. Remember that children will still be able to change their names if they will want to do so but you will have done your share of responsibility and the parents are not accountable before Allah for their children’s deeds beyond the age of puberty.
In the Hanafi school, circumcision is an emphasized sunnah for boys, as it is amongst the signs of Islam and an act of natural disposition (fitra). In the Shafi’i and Hanbali schools, it is considered obligatory. This can be done on the first week, as it may be easier on the child to do so earlier, or at a later time in his childhood.
In the NHS, circumcision is not covered unless it is for medical indication. So there will be a small fee from £70 to £180 depending on the age of your baby. The safest and most esthetic method is called Plastibell or (Chhalla) and is practiced by many surgeries in the UK.
Shaving the Head
Shaving the head, for boys or girls, is neither sunnah nor obligatory according to the Hanafi school. Rather, it is merely permissible if one wishes to do this, and there is no harm in leaving it. [Radd al-Muhtar, Ibn ‘Abideen]
According to the other schools, shaving the head is either recommended, or a sunnah, for boys and girls both, on the seventh day. The shaved hair is then weighed and its weight in silver or gold is given away in charity, while the hair is then buried. These opinions also say that the naming and ‘aqeeqah should be done on the seventh day, optimally. [Sharh al-Kabir, al-Dardir; Majmu’, al-Nawawi]
Register the birth
You are required by the British law to register the birth of your baby within 42 days. You should do this at the register office in the district of the birth. Parents who have not registered within 6 weeks will be contacted by the registrar in the district of the birth, requesting them to attend the register office.
If you can’t register the birth in the district where the baby was born, you can go to any register office in England or Wales and they will send your details to the correct office.
Registration services in Bracknell Forest:
For births that occur in the Bracknell Forest district, an appointment is required to register a birth. Please contact Customer Services to make an appointment.
Who can register a birth ?
Either parent can register. You will need to provide the following information:
The following information is required by law, but does not appear in the register:
What to bring to the registration of your child’s birth?
You should both bring a suitable form of ID, for example your passport, driving licence or birth certificate. Please bring your ‘Red Book’ or any birth paperwork provided by the hospital or midwife. It would also be useful to bring:
Please note that you are not legally required to produce these documents but if you do they can help to ensure your child’s birth is correctly registered. You are not required to bring your baby to the appointment.
Either parent can register. You will need to provide the following information:
The register office is open Monday to Friday 9.30am to 4.30pm (excluding Bank Holidays).
Appointments are held at Time Square, unless otherwise stated upon booking.
Market Street, Bracknell, Berkshire RG12 1JD.
Open 8.30am – 5pm, Monday to Friday.
Contact: 01344 352000.
Claim tax credits if you are on low income
Tell the Tax Credit Office within 1 month of the birth so your claim can be backdated to the date of birth. If you don’t, your tax credits will only be backdated by 1 month from the date of your claim. Example :
Your baby is born 1 Ramadhan. You tell the Tax Credit Office on 1 Muharram so your tax credits get backdated to 1 Dulhijja. If you’d told them by 1 shawwal you’d be getting tax credits from 1 Ramadhan.
How much you get depends on your circumstances – you can use the tax credit calculator to work this out.
Claim child benefit
Fill in a Child Benefit claim form CH2 and send it to the Child Benefit Office with your child’s original birth certificate.
Child Benefit Office (GB)
Newcastle upon Tyne
It can take up to 12 weeks to process a new Child Benefit claim (or longer if you’re new to the UK). Claim Child Benefit as soon as your child is born. Child Benefit can be backdated for up to 3 months – make your claim as soon as possible.
You may have to pay a tax charge if you or your partner’s individual income is over £50,000. This is known as the ‘High Income Child Benefit Charge’.
Use the Child Benefit tax calculator to estimate how much tax you may have to pay.
The aqiqa is when an oudhya is ritually sacrificed out of gratitude to the creator for the newborn, and often, people are fed. This can combined with the shaving of the head and naming, or not. It takes the same ruling as shaving the head.
In the Hanafi school, the aqiqa is considered a ritual that began in the pre-Islamic Age of Ignorance and continued into Islam until the ‘Eid al-Adha sacrifice abrogated all previous types of blood sacrifices.
Hence, the aqiqa is not a sunnah, or even recommended per say, let alone obligatory or harmful if left. It is merely permissible- it can be done, or left without any harm. However, all three of the other schools of law deemed it to be an emphasized sunnah, so there is a genuine difference of opinion on the matter. [Fatawa Hindiyya]
Some later Hanafi scholars from certain regions have ruled that the aqiqa, though originally merely permissible, is recommended in light of the other schools’ emphasis on it [see Fayd al-Bari, Anwar Shah Kashmiri]. However, this ruling is neither from the Hanafi school per say, nor binding.
It would be worthy of reward however, if it was done with a good intention to give thanks and feed others, since even a permissible act becomes an act of devotion depending on a good intention.
The Role of Culture and Family Customs
That being said, in some cultures, it has become wrongly seen as almost obligatory, even if the parents cannot afford it, and it can also reflect elements of trying to impress society, or ward off superstitions. This reasoning can make even a permissible or praiseworthy act into a blameworthy innovation, which is better to tactfully oppose and correct, if the situation allows.
However, if cultural beliefs and family demands are so strong that it will cause more harm to refrain, then on the basis that it is emphasised in other schools, one would probably be wiser to step back and simply let the family “do their thing”, while intending the good.
The point behind all of these rituals, as we said, is that they should come from a grateful heart, one that is aware of the immense blessing of parenthood, and the sacred duty of a parent to its child. May Allah Most High bless your child and make them amongst the pious and righteous.
Self-employment philosophy derived from the following incident during the time of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him):
A man of the Ansar came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and begged from him.
He (the Prophet) asked: “Have you nothing in your house?”
He replied:” Yes, a piece of cloth, a part of which we wear and a part of which we spread (on the ground), and a wooden bowl from which we drink water”
He said: “Bring them to me”
The man then brought these articles to him, and he (the Prophet) took them in his hands and asked: “Who will buy these? “
A man said:” I shall offer to buy them for one dirham”.
He said twice or thrice: “Who will offer more than one dirham? “
Another man said: “I shall buy them for the offer” and the later bought them for two dirhams
He gave the two dirhams and the prophet said when giving them to the owner Ansari: “Buy food with one dirham for your family, and buy an axe with the second dirham, and bring it to me”
The Ansar brought the axe to the Apostle of Allah (peace be upon him), who fixed a handle on it with his own hands and said: “Go, gather firewood and sell it, and do not let me see you for a fortnight”
The man went away, and gathered firewood and sold it. When he had earned ten dirhams, he came to the prophet and told him that he had bought a garment with some of them and food with other earnings.
(Abu Dawud, Hadith 1637)
This incident illustrates an important distinction between simply providing relief as opposed to making someone self-sufficient. Relief is generally a short term solution to a long term problem. Self employment through economic and social change is a long-term solution.
If you are now motivated in self employment in the Uk follow the following link.
On a flip side please remember:
The messenger of Allah said ; ” be genteel in chasing the world, for indeed each and everyone has already been facilitated for what he has been created for”.
Hanzalah Rabee’s son Al-Usayyidi (May Allah be pleased with him) who was one of the scribes of Mohammad the messenger (Allah praised and saluted), he reported:
I met Abu Bakr (whom Allah approved) he said to me: “How are you O Hanzalah?”
I said: “Hanzalah has become a hypocrite”.
He said: “Subhan’Allah, what are you saying?!!”
I said: “When we are in the company of the messenger of Allah and he reminds us of Jahannam (Hell) and Jannah (Paradise), we feel as if we are seeing them with our very eyes, and when we are away from the messenger of Allah, we attend to our wives, our children, our business, most of these things (pertaining to the hereafter) slip out of our minds”.
Then Abu Bakr said: “By Allah, I also experience the same thing”.
So Abu Bakr and I went to see the messenger of Allah and I said to him: “O Messenger of Allah, Hanzalah has turned hypocrite”.
Thereupon the Messenger of Allah said: “What has happened to you?”
I said: “O Messenger of Allah, when we are in your company, and are reminded of Hell-fire and Jannah, we feel as if we are seeing them with our own eyes, but when we go away from you and attend to our wives, children and business, much of these things go out of our minds”.
Thereupon the messenger of Allah said: “By Him in Whose Hand is my life, if your state of mind remains the same as it is in my presence and you remain praying in all hours Allah sends, the angels will shake hands with you in your beds and in your roads; however O Hanzalah ! an hour and an hour..an hour and an hour.. an hour and an hour )”. (means hours and after hours)
this hadith is know as the hadith of an hour and an hour[in Saheeh Muslim].
The Hour is when sourcing the societies and the means of maintaining them will come to an end in order to begin a different form of endless life.
An ultimate Assessment will take place chaired by The Inceptor of life.
Some people will be upgraded to live in very high standards of body and environment, while many others will be facing a consequent downgrade.
The Creator of life sent Messengers throughout the past and directed them to convey the message regarding the purpose and the management of life.
Scriptures were also left to us as a Guidance.
Whoever you are, whatever is your situation and you would like to understand the purpose of your journey on Earth in details, Read the final message : The Quran