Marriage
Most individuals just donāt realise that a good skill-based pre-marriage course can reduce the risk of divorce by up to thirty percent and lead to a significantly happier marriage. It can also reduce the stress of the pre-wedding period and can help individuals to discover new things about marriage. It prepares individuals to start dealing with issues at the source even before they arise, so as to have a good foundation to build on. Many marriages break down because people donāt know what it takes to make a marriage work.
Couples now face more demands and have fewer supports than ever before. The typical complex marriage-managing two careers while rearing children-really requires that couples have very strong, well-established abilities to communicate, resolve issues, maintain mutuality and set goals. Without this foundation, itās easy to feel overwhelmed by stress and time pressures. Problems can intrude much more easily than most couple realise.
Marriage preparation classes, workshops and courses are an alternative and a supplementary approach to educating engaged couples and newlyweds in the skills, habits, attitudes, and enrichment techniques that leads to happy, enduring marriages.
Islam established its own theory for the process of spouse selection. The issue of marriage in Islam is not an issue of mere sexual satisfaction. Islam considers marriage an institution to establish a family. Therefore, Islam urges marriage seekers to select long lasting relationships, establish beloved, and caring families, which should serve the society. All these conditions would not be fulfilled unless there is a pious and righteous spouse, who is mindful of the commandements of their Supreme Designer and careful about all duties entrusted to them.
There are many advantages of getting married :
- PEACE & TRANQUILITY
- LOVE & AFFECTION
- MERCY OF THE HIGHEST CREATOR
- SELF DEVELOPMENT
- REGULATION OF SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR
- COMPANIONSHIP
- SENSE OF SECURITY
- REPRODUCTION
- PROVISION OF SOCIAL STATUS
- SUSTAINANCE
Birth
When a child is born, the parents and family should give thanks to Allah Most High for the gift He has bestowed on them, and that everything went better than it could have.Ā They should remember that this baby is a trust from Allah, not something that they own.
Allah will help the parents to take care of the child. The local authority isĀ happy to help you welcoming the child too, the reason being is that having a child allows indeed the continuity of the human society. Hence a government will make sense.
Therefore, from that day begins the parents duty to ensure the best for the child.Ā They will be questioned regarding whether they fulfilled the childās needs, not only physically and socially, but spiritually as well.
They should also be content with Allah Most Highās decree regarding the gender and condition of the child, and show their love equally in all cases.Ā They should also announce the birth with the same happiness and thanks to others, and others should congratulate them, also regardless of the gender or other features of the child.
It is also a good idea to bring a small gift to the medical staff who assisted the delivery either at home or in the hospital as you may remember our teacher saying who doesnāt thank peolpe, neither does thank Allah.
A mentality of gratitude and contentment, combined with a sense of sacred responsibility, should be the backdrop that provides context and meaning for the virtuous acts which follow
Giving the Adhan After Birth
In the Maliki, Shafiāi and Hanbali schools, the adhan is recommended and a sunnah, and it should be given in the rightern ear of the child and the iqama should be given in the other one.Ā [al-Majmuā, al-Nawawi; Mawahib al-Jaleel, al-Hattab; Kashaaf al-Qinaaā, al-Bahuti]
This is based on hadiths found in the collection of al-Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud, Ahmad, al-Bayhaqi and others.Ā The wisdom behind it is that the first words the child hears is the magnification of Allah Most High, in hopes that the child would live their life responding to the call to worship the Lord on the path of Islam. [Tahfa al-Mawdud, Ibn al-Qayyim]
InĀ the Hanafi school, it is virtuous to give the adhan in front of the baby when it is born [though not obligatory nor a sunnah].Ā One should turn oneās face to the rightern side when saying āHayya āala al-salahā and to the left at āHayya āala al-falahā like in a normal adhan.Ā [Radd al-Muhtar, Ibn āAbideen]
Tahneek
It is narrated about the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that when a child was born and brought to him soon afterward, he would moisten a small piece of a date with his mouth and then place it on the palate of the newborn.Ā [Bukhari, Muslim and others]
This act is called the ātaHneekā.Ā It is considered a recommended and sunnah act, though not obligatory or harmful if left.
This can be done with a date, but if dates are not available, then any similar sweet natural thing will suffice.
This can be performed by the parent, or upright person in the community, preferably from the people of knowledge and piety.Ā The wisdom is that by sharing the piece of date with a pious Muslim, it is a source of blessing and a hope that the child will also be pious and upright. [āUmdat al-Qari, al-āAini]
Naming the Child
The naming of the child can be done right away, or one can wait till the seventh day, as some narrations do mention this, however, any time is permissible.Ā It is the childās right that they are given a name that is good in meaning and reflective of the childās Muslim faith. [āUmdat al-Qari, al-Aini]
You are advised to choose names that show servitude to Allah (Abdullah, Abd al-Rahman, Sajida, Abida, etc), then the names that express gratitude and their variations ( Hameeda, Ahmed, Mohammed, Hameed etc),then the names of the prophets (Nouh, Idris, Isaac, Yacob..etc)., and finally names of rightous persons according to Islam ( Aysha, Khadija,Maryam, fatematuāzahraaā¦.etc).
It is also fine to choose a decent and meaningful name free of perversion, negativity or arrogance.
With regard to some muslims avoiding islamic names who fear that their children will be limited / discriminated against in their abilities in life (specifically Job opportunities) due to stereotyping / racism, although they have a justification for that,
let ās remind thatĀ Islam is the second largest religion with results from the United Kingdom Census 2011 giving the UK Muslim population in as ~2,706,066, ~4.5% of the total population. Thus,it is not a strong argument worth the loss of identity, and being deprived of the opportunity to show oneās Islam openly and call people to it. This is what a muslim should be keen to do and hope that children will be callers to their religion of peace, adhering to it and feeling proud of their values. We find that todayās society has achieved a noticeable progress in diversity and mutual respect, particularly the British society. Remember that children will still be able to change their names if they will want to do so but you will have done your share of responsibility and the parents are not accountable before Allah for their childrenās deeds beyond the age of puberty.
Boy Circumcision
In the Hanafi school, circumcision is an emphasized sunnah for boys, as it is amongst the signs of Islam and an act of natural disposition (fitra).Ā In the Shafiāi and Hanbali schools, it is considered obligatory.Ā This can be done on the first week, as it may be easier on the child to do so earlier, or at a later time in his childhood.
In the NHS, circumcision is not covered unless it is for medical indication. So there will be a small fee from Ā£70 to Ā£180 depending on the age of your baby. The safest and most esthetic method is calledĀ PlastibellĀ or (Chhalla) and is practiced by many surgeries in the UK.
Shaving the Head
Shaving the head, for boys or girls, is neither sunnah nor obligatory according to the Hanafi school.Ā Rather, it is merely permissible if one wishes to do this, and there is no harm in leaving it.Ā [Radd al-Muhtar, Ibn āAbideen]
According to the other schools, shaving the head is either recommended, or a sunnah, for boys and girls both, on the seventh day.Ā The shaved hair is then weighed and its weight in silver or gold is given away in charity, while the hair is then buried.Ā These opinions also say that the naming and āaqeeqah should be done on the seventh day, optimally. [Sharh al-Kabir, al-Dardir; Majmuā, al-Nawawi]
Register the birth
You are required by the British law to register the birth of your baby within 42 days. You should do this at the register office in the district of the birth. Parents who have not registered within 6 weeks will be contacted by the registrar in the district of the birth, requesting them to attend the register office.
If you canāt register the birth in the district where the baby was born, you can go to any register office in England or Wales and they will send your details to the correct office.
Registration servicesĀ in Bracknell Forest:
ForĀ births that occur in the Bracknell Forest district, an appointment is required to register a birth. Please contact Customer Services to make an appointment.
Fees:
- Copies of birth certificates on the day of registration ā Ā£4 each
- Copies of birth certificates from current registers after the day of registration ā Ā£7 each
- Copies of birth certificates from completed registers ā Ā£10 each.
Who can register a birth ?
Either parent can register. You will need to provide the following information:
- Date and place of babyās birth (bring your discharge papers with you)
- Full name and surname of baby
- Sex of the baby
- Parentsā names, surnames and address (including any former names)
- Places and dates of the parentsā birth
- Date of parentsā marriage
- Parentsā occupations
- Motherās maiden surname
The following information is required by law, but does not appear in the register:
- The date of birth for the parents
- Any other children born to the mother within marriage
- The month and year of their marriage
What to bring to the registration of your childās birth?
You should both bring a suitable form of ID, for example your passport, driving licence or birth certificate. Please bring your āRed Bookā or any birth paperwork provided by the hospital or midwife. It would also be useful to bring:
- Your passport or birth certificate
- Proof of your current address
- Proof of any former name or names (for example, a change of name deed or marriage certificate)
Please note that you are not legally required to produce these documents but if you do they can help to ensure your childās birth is correctly registered. You are not required to bring your baby to the appointment.
Opening Times
Either parent can register. You will need to provide the following information:
The register office is open Monday to Friday 9.30am to 4.30pm (excluding Bank Holidays).
Appointments are held at Time Square, unless otherwise stated upon booking.
Market Street, Bracknell, Berkshire RG12 1JD.
Open 8.30am ā 5pm, Monday to Friday.
Contact: 01344 352000.
www.bracknell-forest.gov.uk/contactus
Claim tax credits if you are on low income
You can:
- Apply for tax credits ā if youāve not applied for tax credits before
- Update your claim ā if youāve already applied for Child or Working Tax Credit
To update a claim, justĀ contact the Tax Credit OfficeĀ ā you donāt need to fill out a claim form.
Tell the Tax Credit Office within 1 month of the birth so your claim can be backdated to the date of birth. If you donāt, your tax credits will only be backdated by 1 month from the date of your claim. Ā Example :
Your baby is born 1 Ramadhan. You tell the Tax Credit Office on 1 MuharramĀ so your tax credits get backdated to 1 Dulhijja. If youād told them by 1 shawwal youād be getting tax credits from 1 Ramadhan.
How much you get depends on your circumstances ā you can use theĀ tax credit calculatorĀ to work this out.
Claim child benefit
Fill in aĀ Child Benefit claim form CH2Ā and send it to the Child Benefit Office with your childās original birth certificate.
Child Benefit Office (GB)
Washington
Newcastle upon Tyne
NE88 1ZD
It can take up to 12 weeks to process a new Child Benefit claim (or longer if youāre new to the UK). Claim Child Benefit as soon as your child is born. Child Benefit can be backdated for up to 3 months ā make your claim as soon as possible.
You may have to pay a tax charge if you or your partnerās individual income is over Ā£50,000. This is known as theĀ āHigh Income Child Benefit Chargeā.
Use theĀ Child Benefit tax calculatorĀ to estimate how much tax you may have to pay.
Aqiqa
The aqiqa is when an oudhya is ritually sacrificed out of gratitude to the creator for the newborn, and often, people are fed.Ā This can combined with the shaving of the head and naming, or not.Ā It takes the same ruling as shaving the head.
In the Hanafi school, the aqiqa is considered a ritual that began in the pre-Islamic Age of Ignorance and continued into Islam until the āEid al-Adha sacrifice abrogated all previous types of blood sacrifices.
Hence, the aqiqa is not a sunnah, or even recommended per say, let alone obligatory or harmful if left.Ā It is merely permissible- it can be done, or left without any harm.Ā However, all three of the other schools of law deemed it to be an emphasized sunnah, so there is a genuine difference of opinion on the matter.Ā [Fatawa Hindiyya]
Some later Hanafi scholars from certain regions have ruled that the aqiqa, though originally merely permissible, is recommended in light of the other schoolsā emphasis on it [see Fayd al-Bari, Anwar Shah Kashmiri].Ā However, this ruling is neither from the Hanafi school per say, nor binding.
It would be worthy of reward however, if it was done with a good intention to give thanks and feed others, since even a permissible act becomes an act of devotion depending on a good intention.
The Role of Culture and Family Customs
That being said, in some cultures, it has become wrongly seen as almost obligatory, even if the parents cannot afford it, and it can also reflect elements of trying to impress society, or ward off superstitions.Ā This reasoning can make even a permissible or praiseworthy act into a blameworthy innovation, which is better to tactfully oppose and correct, if the situation allows.
However, if cultural beliefs and family demands are so strong that it will cause more harm to refrain, then on the basis that it is emphasised in other schools, one would probably be wiser to step back and simply let the family ādo their thingā, while intending the good.
The point behind all of these rituals, as we said, is that they should come from a grateful heart, one that is aware of the immense blessing of parenthood, and the sacred duty of a parent to its child.Ā May Allah Most High bless your child and make them amongst the pious and righteous.
Earning
Self-employment philosophy derived from the following incident during the time of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him):
A man of the Ansar came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and begged from him.
He (the Prophet) asked: āHave you nothing in your house?ā
He replied:ā Yes, a piece of cloth, a part of which we wear and a part of which we spread (on the ground), and a wooden bowl from which we drink waterā
He said: āBring them to meā
The man then brought these articles to him, and he (the Prophet) took them in his hands and asked: āWho will buy these? ā
A man said:ā I shall offer to buy them for one dirhamā.
He said twice or thrice: āWho will offer more than one dirham? ā
Another man said: āI shall buy them for the offerā and the later bought them for two dirhams
He gave the two dirhams and the prophet said when giving them to the owner Ansari: āBuy food with one dirham for your family, and buy an axe with the second dirham, and bring it to meā
The Ansar brought the axe to the Apostle of Allah (peace be upon him), who fixed a handle on it with his own hands and said: āGo, gather firewood and sell it, and do not let me see you for a fortnightā
The man went away, and gathered firewood and sold it. When he had earned ten dirhams, he came to the prophet and told him that he had bought a garment with some of them and food with other earnings.
(Abu Dawud, Hadith 1637)
This incident illustrates an important distinction between simply providing relief as opposed to making someone self-sufficient. Relief is generally a short term solution to a long term problem. Self employment through economic and social change is a long-term solution.
We also learn from this hadith that a hand tool /machine skill can be instrumental in sourcing a living. Getting a driving licence or learn to control new machines.
If you are now motivated to learn new skills click here
If then you areĀ motivated in self employment in the Uk follow the following link
On a flip side please remember:
The messenger of Allah said ; ā be genteel in chasing the world, for indeed each and everyone has already been facilitated for what he has been created forā.
See also
https://www.newmuslimguide.com/en/your-financial-transactions
Entertainment
Hanzalah Rabeeās son Al-Usayyidi (May Allah be pleased with him) who was one of the scribes of Mohammad the messenger (Allah praised and saluted), he reported:
I met Abu Bakr (whom Allah approved) he said to me: āHow are you O Hanzalah?ā
I said: āHanzalah has become a hypocriteā.
He said: āSubhanāAllah, what are you saying?!!ā
I said: āWhen we are in the company of the messenger of Allah and he reminds us of Jahannam (Hell) and Jannah (Paradise), we feel as if we are seeing them with our very eyes, and when we are away from the messenger of Allah, we attend to our wives, our children, our business, most of these things (pertaining to the hereafter) slip out of our mindsā.
Then Abu Bakr said: āBy Allah, I also experience the same thingā.
So Abu Bakr and I went to see the messenger of Allah and I said to him: āO Messenger of Allah, Hanzalah has turned hypocriteā.
Ā
Thereupon the Messenger of Allah said: āWhat has happened to you?ā
I said: āO Messenger of Allah, when we are in your company, and are reminded of Hell-fire and Jannah, we feel as if we are seeing them with our own eyes, but when we go away from you and attend to our wives, children and business, much of these things go out of our mindsā.
Thereupon the messenger of Allah said: āBy Him in Whose Hand is my life, if your state of mind remains the same as it is in my presence and you remain praying in all hours Allah sends, the angels will shake hands with you in your beds and in your roads; however O Hanzalah ! an hour and an hour..an hour and an hour.. an hour and an hour )ā. (means hours and after hours)
this hadith is know as the hadith of an hour and an hour[in Saheeh Muslim].
The Hour
The Hour is when sourcing the societies and the means of maintaining them will come to an end in order to begin a different form of endless life.
An ultimate Assessment will take place chaired by The Inceptor of life.
Some people will be upgraded to live in very high standards of body and environment, while many others will be facing a consequent downgrade.
The Creator of life sent Messengers throughout the past and directed them to convey the message regarding the purpose and the management of life.
Scriptures were also left to us as a Guidance.
Whoever you are, whatever is your situation and you would like to understand the purpose of your journey on Earth in details, Read the final message : The Quran
Funeral
ETHIC
The dying person should be encouraged Ā to recite the following Testimony :Ā
La ilaha illallahĀ means( there is no god but Allah )
- When the soul departs, the eyes Ā should be closed and the body covered.
- Washing (ghusl) of the body is obligatory, except in the case of a martyr. If water is unavailable, then Tayammum should be performed.The spouse is permitted to wash the other. The Messenger of Allah (S) said to AishahĀ āIf you would pass away, I would wash and shroud you.ā [Ibn Majah, Ahmad]
3. The shroud (kafn) is obligatory ,aĀ clean white shroud (kafn) is recommended. The Messenger of Allah (S) said:āWear white clothes, since they are the best of your clothes, and shroud your dead with them.ā [At-Tirmithi
4.Ā Performing the funeral prayer (janazah)for the muslim deceased , like the burial is a collective duty.
ADMIN
- GettingĀ theĀ medical certificateĀ depends on different situations :
If someone dies at home:
Call the family doctor and nearest relative immediately. If the person did not have a GP or you do not know the name of the GP, call 999 and ask for an ambulance.Ā If the death was expected, the doctor will give you a medical certificate showing the cause of death. Theyāll also give you a formal notice saying theyāve signed the medical certificate and telling you how to register the death.
If someone dies in hospital:
The hospital will usually issue a medical certificate and formal notice. The body will usually be kept in the hospital mortuary until the funeral directors or relatives arrange for the body to be taken home.Ā A hospital may ask you for permission to carry out a post-mortem examination to learn more about the cause of death.Ā You do not haveĀ to agree to this.
Unexpected death
If someone dies unexpectedly, or the family doctor hasnāt seen them in the last 14 days, the death is reported to aĀ coroner. A coroner is a doctor or lawyer responsible for investigating unexpected deaths. They may call for a post-mortem orĀ inquest. This may take some time, so the funeral may need to be delayed.
Death abroad
If someone dies abroad, register the death according to the regulations of the country and get a consulate death certificate. Register it with the British Consul in the country too, so a record can be kept in the UK.Ā Returning a body to the UK is expensive but the cost may be covered by any travel insurance taken out by the person. If the death was on a package holiday the tour operator should be able to help with arrangements. IfĀ a body is returned to the UK, the Registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriages for the district where the funeral is to take place must be told and will need to issue a certificate before burial can take place
2. Register the Death Ā hereĀ if it happens in Bracknell
3. Youāll get a copy ofĀ death certificateĀ andĀ aĀ green formĀ (Form 9)( or a White if coroner involved), which is to be given to the funeral director andĀ a white form (Form 344) which should be sent to HMRC
4. In the case of Moving a body for a funeral abroad, even though recommandation is to bury localy, (unless for some valid reasons (most relatives abroad- no muslim section- desecration risks)
You will need permission from aĀ coronerĀ to move a body for a funeral abroad. Apply at least 4 days before you want the body to be moved. If the deceased is citizen of destination country, please contact the Consul to ask for help.
5. http://gardens-of-peace.org.ukĀ is aĀ private Muslim Cemetery and a funeral director Ā contacted by BICS who Ā accepted to provide the full Ā funeral islamic service (ghusl,transport and janazah Ā£1000)Ā in addition to freehold burial plots (Ā£3100 for adult)Ā at the Muslim Cemetery located in east London about 67miles/1h20 driving distance from Bracknell (address 57 Elmbridge Road, Hainault, Ilford Essex IG6 3SW) according to the sunnah method (Shrouds without coffin). youāll need to provide the green form, fill out aĀ formĀ and pay theĀ fees(payment delay might be possible). Ā If you can manage the funeral service with the family and friends youāll only need to pay the plotās fee(Ā£3100) and the funeral director will help whenever needed,Ā There are no extra fees for weekend or bank holiday burials.
Gardens of Peace is a charity that owns freehold land for use as a muslim cemetery; its constitution forbids the use of the land for any purpose other than as a muslim cemetery. So the concept of leases, as in other multi-denominational and council run cemeteries, does not apply.
6. We also bring to your attention that our local council runningĀ BracknellĀ Easthampstead Park Cemetery andĀ Crematorium has reserved a section for Muslims (fees) amongst other faiths. Graves within this section are oriented towards Mecca. However please note that due to councilās management requirements, no interment will be permitted without coffin or during weekends and bank holiday and please note that this section has not got its own entrance or any facility for muslim burial ritual (janazah ie bath and prayer) . Finally, it is importante to know that this section is not managed or supervised by any Islamic institution for sharia compliance.
- The deceased may have taken out aĀ pre-paid funeral plan,Ā please check andĀ find out if they have already purchased a grave space. if not, even if the bank account of the deceased has been frozen following the death it may be possible to have funds released from the bank.
- As the government provide some financial support to the needy upon birth, it also does upon death. if you are on low income and reponsible for the funeral, you can claim aĀ Funeral PaymentĀ (max Ā£1000)using form SF200 or over the phone. You must claim within 3 months of the funeral.
- If you though struggle with the payment please letĀ usĀ know Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āTruly! To Allah we all belong and truly, to Him we will returnāĀ